The man who the Lord gave me a second chance to help.

27 August 2007 – Monday

It was one of those days when everything falls apart and yet some things get done. I did my exercising – my stomach muscles finally allowed me to do some sit-ups. I decided I would be more careful in the future and not do too much too fast. I just read a scripture about that in the D&C but can not remember the reference without looking. We read for pages from the Kitab Mormon – the first time we read it, we did about two to two and a half pages per day so we are doing better.

We got some wonderful letters from our children or their spouses as well as a couple from grandchildren. Between that and the blogs we can keep pretty much up on what is going on.

The first change came when I got a text message saying that our PEF meeting was being put off a week. So I called Sam and said that he did not need to pick us up until 11:15 when we could go to the mission home and eat before Mary had her English class. I suggested she call and make sure that there would be a class and was told that it probably should be postponed because some people were not in the office today. So instead of going to the mission home we went to the office.

I had a special experience on our trip to the office. There was a man going down the street on a little cart that he used like a wheelchair. I believe he is the man who I saw the other day and did not go back to as prompted. As we passed him this time I told Sam he needed to turn around so we could find out where this man lived so that when we got wheelchairs, we could possibly give him one. Sam talked to him and found where he lived and that he spent his day going up and down the road begging for enough money to buy food for him, his wife and their two children. I did not find out how his lost the use of his legs. I gave him 10,000 R – about $1.10 which should allow him to feed his family for the day. I am not sure that a wheelchair will help him, but I know that I must try to get him one. This was a tender mercy from the Lord to allow me a second chance to try and help one of his children in need.

We had lunch off the street – Mary had mie goreng and I had my usual meal. I sent a number of e-mails – in fact we sent e-mails all day to different people all over the world it seemed. I worked on trying to find out more about micro-finance in Indonesia. Everything I find is about 3 years old but I will keep trying to find where I can get current information. I also tried to contact a member who works in the embassy but he seems to have moved. I then tried to call some members of the English branch to find out who worked there now but everyone was gone. It seemed to fit into an already frustrating day. While I was doing this, Mary worked on her English lessons and answered more e-mail.

I checked with the president on how the Davises were doing and he said they had gone up to Bandung to look at some housing. Jemmy Mongan went with them so they are in good hands. We talked a little about the Bennetts and what they are doing up in Semarang. He also informed me that we would be picking up the Walkers when they come in – he will be in Solo at a Zone Conference. We really have become the unofficial meeters and greeters for the mission.

After we closed the office we went to SoGo to do some grocery shopping and of course visit BreadTalk. They had almost everything we craved – much too much chocolate. The traffic was light both ways and we made good time getting back to the apartment. The rest of the day was spent napping, studying Indonesian, reading from the Kitab Mormon, writing and posting this journal, and organizing pictures. We read four more pages from the Kitab Mormon – Zeniff’s account of his kingship in the land of their inheritance.

So we had a day almost completely different from what we had planned but it was still a fruitful and fulfilling day as we serve here in Indonesia. I am truly thankful that the Lord gave me a second chance to heed His spirit in regards to the crippled man. I guess I am the kind of son who has to be shaken a couple of times before my spirit wakes up and hears the still, small voice.

 

Photos from funeral of Dita Subandriyo including family around casket, elder Subandriyo, the petal covered grave, Mary settling in for the duration, and the impromptu choir for the postlude.

25 August 2007 – Saturday

It was nice to sleep in my own bed and I really slept – until almost 6. Because we needed to leave soon after 7 for the Subandriyo funeral, we did not read from the Kitab Mormon. We will really need to read a lot on Sunday to get back on track.

I am writing this at just before 8 a.m. Although the funeral does not start until 11:00 people have been arriving here for hours because they have come from all across Java. By bus and train – often traveling from 12 to15 hours or more – they are arriving. Mary is practicing with the soloists and the choir until 9 when she will start playing the prelude program. For two hours there will be singing and she will play for most of it and all the funeral itself. It is actually an honor to be asked to do this.

As I was out taking some pictures of the tents and flowers, Elder Subandriyo came in on his motorcycle. He had to run home to get some music to play for the guests during the viewing and while Mary was practicing. I gave him our condolences and we shared a hug. Yesterday President Marchant mentioned that Elder S., because of his strong testimony, was doing well and knew that he would see his daughter again. But I would be surprised if, for at least some time, the radiant smile might be dimmed just a little.

I was greatly touched by the experience of attending the funerals today. The bodies were available for viewing at the front of the chapel and for hours people went by and looked and then met the families. The circumstances of their death, their caskets, the number of people who came to see them, and where they will be buried are far different, but they both shared the love of many members and of course they shared the promises of the gospel. Sister Subandriyo left a family of parents and three siblings. The brother left parents, an older brother, a wife and four children – one only 22 months old. One of the most touching parts for me was the family of the brother singing – there was only about 10 who sang but they sounded like a choir of angels. As they sang I noticed one of the young men in the choir could not help singing along. He looked and saw me watching and he put his hand over his heart and I indicated I understood completely.

Another high point was when Elder Subandriyo spoke. He talked about his daughter and the man who was a fellow ex-missionary of I would guess about the same age. He shared some advice he gave his daughter and the one that touched me was that if she was asked a question that she felt was contentious to try to avoid answering it, but ‘if you have to answer, answer with a soft voice.” I thought that was great counsel and something that I still have not learned to do.

After the funeral was over, the whole congregation came forward to see the bodies for one last time. While they were doing this Mary started playing postlude music. Sister Autin started to sing with her in English, she was soon joined by two of the sister missionaries, and then others joined in. I even joined in where I could. This went on for close to a half hour or until the caskets were finally closed and carried out. It added a nice touch to the funeral.

I should mention that Mary practiced with soloists and the choir for over and hour, then played prelude music, accompanied soloists and the choir for well over an hour before the funeral started, and played for almost all the songs that were sung during the funeral. So she certainly got her piano time in today.

We were only two cars behind the hearst and so we got to park somewhat near the grave site. There was a big canopy over the site but even with that it was boiling – especially for us in suits. Mary took one of the chairs so she did not have to stand. The grave was about 4 feet deep and there were a couple of boards to hold up the casket. The elders and her two brothers were pall bearers.

After a song, the grave was dedicated and a short talk. Then the sisters placed garlands of flowers over the casket before it was lowered into the grave with ropes. There is no vault so I would guess as the casket deteriorates the graves collapse. After the casket is lowered people throw handfuls of flower petals on it. Then the grave diggers start filling in the grave with their hoes. When it is filled and mounded, people file by and put more petals on the top so that when they are done there is a mound of petals. All in all it is a beautiful experience that I would have enjoyed more if the temperature was not quite so high. Sam mentioned that they held the funeral early so it would not be too hot. I can not imagine it being hotter.

We were lucky about where we parked so we could back out of the cemetery. The number of mourners and their vehicles meant that many had to park on the road. This of course caused a massive traffic jam which was made even worse by the vehicles in the cemetery coming out and blocking another lane. It probably backed up traffic for miles. I was just glad we did not have to experience this.

We came home and Mary immediately collapsed in bed. A few minutes later I came in to find her crying. She had not eaten any breakfast and so her body was rebelling for lack of food to a point where she was emotionally as well as physically exhausted. I got her a sandwich and some crackers and that solved the problem. She soon was able to fall asleep for a short but much needed nap.

After she woke we read from the Kitab Mormon – we had not read this morning. Then we ordered pizza. After it came I put on the penguin movie ‘Happy Feet.’ While Mary is watching that, I am trying to catch up some of this journal.

It is strange how exhausted we are tonight. I can somewhat understand Mary’s fatigue but I did nothing except a lot of sitting and standing. Perhaps it is emotional fatigue. What ever the cause, neither of us felt like reading more from the Kitab Mormon and by 9 we were both asleep.

How hard it must be to bury your child. To see so much of your hope – Elder Subandriyo had written a note to Dita that he had not sent saying that he was looking forward to her providing his first grandchild – and your dreams be covered with the red soil of Indonesia. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Her younger sister was not able to keep up her composer as well as her elder brothers and parents. She must have been very close to her sister – pictures of them together show two friends as well as sisters. Hopefully for all the family their great faith and testimony of the gospel will allow them to get through this by knowing that when they pass to the other side she will be there waiting to take them into her arms.

 

A display at one of the schools – this could be at any school in the U.S. The Deyhles at the two ceremonies and at Taman Safari.  The twin daughters do not like any sized animalsso they got no closer than 10 feet to the elephants but they were really good sports about it. The Davises and Mary in our lobby – they are going to be great missionaries.

24 August 2007 – Friday

I tossed and turned a little more during the night, the couch is not as comfortable as the bed. But I was always able to go back to sleep. I did not get in my exercises – we had to leave early to pick up the Dahlyes and get them up to Bogor for a couple of ceremonies at schools.

We made sure the Davises were ready for their move to the Peterson’s house. We enjoyed having them here but I am sure that both couples will feel more comfortable when they have more space.

We picked up the Dahlyes – I am sure I am spelling that wrong – at their hotel. Brother and Sister Dahlye and their twin 20 year old daughters. We had a good time getting to know a little more about them. One of their daughters is majoring in Art History and knows Marion Wardle. She is writing her master’s thesis on an English artist I did not know at all but want to find out about. Unfortunately my mind went blank when it came to remembering the British artists of the 80’s so I could not carry on a very intelligent conversation. The other daughter has graduated and is a nanny. She seems to be a little embarrassed by her choice of occupations but it seems to be what she really enjoys so I told her that was the important thing.

We got to Bogor way early and had time to drive around the botanical gardens and the Presidential summer palace. The two programs – actually there were three – went very well. The first was at a very up-scale school that teaches almost exclusively in English. Except for the color of the faces on the children, it could have been in America or Australia. The program was short and then we toured the school. I had a chance to talk to one of the teachers who was Indonesian, born in Germany, grew up in Canada and Australia. He teaches ITC – they have two large computer labs – and says that he really enjoys the work. I also spent some time talking to the very quiet director who stayed in the background. He started the school 13 years ago with just kindergarten and 1st grade and it did so well that he got investors and built a very nice school which he hopes to expand into a full high school.

We had a second ceremony there  when one of the other schools who received some of the books sent a delegation to say thanks to give the family a couple of gifts. One was a wonderful drawing of the brother and sister Dahyle done by the students and nicely framed. I think the family was deeply touched.

We then went to a much more humble school where they put on a very nice program that all the students participated in. It was outside but since we were in Bogor it was not really hot. We also toured this school and the Dahyles tried to shake as many hands as they could. Brother Dahyles message to the children is learn English – as much as they can.  During the day we got to find out more about their foundation and what it and other programs they are a part of is doing in South America and Asia. I think they are a perfect example of Jacob 2 that says that as long as we seek for riches to help others, that the Lord will bless us.

After the ceremonies were over we took them up to Taman Safari. The young ladies were not thrilled because neither of them like animals at all – not even cats and dogs. But the parents wanted to see it so we drove up and gave them a quick trip through the main zoo. I think they were impressed – at least until a zebra almost scared sister Dahyle to death by sticking its head into her face unexpectedly. But they fed the animals carrots and bananas and ohed and awed at the right times. We stopped at the activities area long enough for everyone to use the restroom and get their picture taken with the elephants. We were going to eat there but the restaurant was out of noodles and rice so we decided to look elsewhere for lunch. I am glad we did because Sam stopped at a more traditional restaurant near to Bogor and we had a wonderful late lunch. The hit of the meal was the best chicken sate with peanut sauce that we have ever had. Nothing but white meat chicken and a subtle sauce that did added flavor without overpowering the chicken. Elder Dahyle paid the bill that with a generous tip came to under $20 for 7 people.

The traffic back to Jakarta was heavy at time but we made good time and dropped the family off at their hotel. I really am glad we got to meet them and look forward to seeing them again in Utah after our mission.

We went to the mission home to see that the Davises got moved OK and to pick up our extra key from them. While I visited with them, Mary talked to sister Ahtin about the program for the tomorrow’s funeral. When she joined us she said that we had been invited to stay and have dinner with the Davises and the Marchants. I mentioned that we had just had a huge meal just 3 hours before and that she needed to be at the chapel to practice at 6:30. But she felt we should stay. So we did and had a nice if brief visit. I told the President about our day with the Dahyles and seemed pleased that we let them see Taman Safari.

They dropped me off at the apartment and then went to the church. Sam would be leaving to help escort the sister Subandriyo’s body home and Mary got a ride home with sister Penny and her husband after the practice. I was dead tired – I have been for a couple of days – and fell asleep. Mary woke me when she got home but I went right back to sleep on the couch. About 10 I woke up long enough to go to bed where I read from the A&P for a short time for turning off the light.

I do not know where this day fits into our calling as missionaries. I learned a lot about what is available in Indonesia through the Dahyle’s foundation. I think they now have a better idea about Indonesia – they certainly know that it is not a dangerous place to visit. I got some good ideas on how to work with the less actives – the Dahyles have an assignment to help a couple of Latino wards in Salt Lake and have helped them greatly to grow. We met a lovely family who we may be able to help Indonesia even more in the future.  I know that even though we did not seem to much more than go around in the car and visit schools, a zoo and a restaurant, that it was exhausting.

We got a nice letter from Brian and he posted a comment on our blog. It seems he did not know that we had one. I am not sure that I mentioned that the Taylors – who left for Solo early this morning, had read our blog before they came. It seems that if you put Indonesia into the search engine, it comes up. I guess I should be careful about what I write here, but I really do not want to edit it to make it sound like the mission is a spiritual feast every minute of each day. But I also do not want people to think that taken as a whole we are having a great spiritual experience that we want to keep enjoying as long as we are healthy enough to do so